Is this "normal" in the African context? Is it a blessing (as it allows unrestrained sexual relationships) or a curse (because of the emotional trauma involved + the risk of contracting varied STDs)?
Below is the agonizing story of a woman, Jane, who has an open relationship with her husband. Please read and drop your comments
I thought that having an open marriage would be a laugh.
I imagined myself bedding a string of gorgeous guys with no responsibilities and no complicating ties.
But it’s all turning out to be a huge mistake.
I’m bogged down and very unhappy.
Far from enjoying a pick 'n’ mix of men, I’m saddled with a toyboy lover who won’t let me go.
He’s more demanding and controlling than my husband.
He was the first guy I slept with after we agreed our open life and I haven’t been able to shake him off since.
The sex used to be good, but now it’s angry and desperate.
He keeps threatening to ruin me and harm himself if I leave. He swings from cute and cuddly to crazy in the blink of an eye.
He takes money from me and then tells me that I’m ugly and old and that he despises everything I am. It goes without saying that this isn’t what I envisaged at all.
Meanwhile my husband is living it up.
He’s gone through our local pub like a dose of salts and bedded most of the single women I know, all of whom say they totally adore him.
He has told me what he has been doing in the bedroom with these ladies and I must admit to feeling very jealous.
What he’s describing is what I had hoped to enjoy, but it has turned into a complete nightmare for me.
Now he’s seeing a beautiful woman who I’m sure he’s getting serious about.
I can’t believe that I’ve got myself into such a mess. I feel that my life is out of control and I often cry myself to sleep.
He’s adamant that our marriage isn’t over. He says he’ll stay with me for ever, but his lover will probably always be around, so I’ve got to be prepared to share him with her.
I’m the biggest loser, the weakest link.
How do other people manage open marriages and live to tell the tale?
JANE SAYS: I don’t think anyone ever claimed that conducting an open marriage was easy.
I suspect you need a hard head and very tough skin to make this kind of arrangement work.
You have read this article with the title Open Marriage: A "blessing" or "Curse"?. You can bookmark this page URL http://meditacaoplanetaria.blogspot.com/2012/05/open-marriage-or.html. Thanks!
